Grief doesn’t leave you

The goal: to help people find hope and new purpose and meaning in life.

By Sharlene Plewman

As of 2023, I am the Chief Administrative Officer of Heartache2Hope. Heartache2Hope provides a comprehensive program of specialized grief support services for people of all ages grieving a suicide loss. 

What drew me to Heartache2Hope was hearing the impact stories of what this organization does and the specialised services they provide.

Flavia Ceschin, Founder and Executive Director of Heartache2Hope, started the organization in 2014. Through her work with grieving individuals both in groups and one-on-one, Flavia recognized that a suicide loss brings complex layers of trauma and grief, resulting in the need for specialized support.  General grief support groups were not enough. Further, the stigma that still shrouds suicide impacted grievers’ ability to openly share in support groups. Suicide loss grievers do not feel comfortable sharing in a general grief group and a general grief group's reaction can cause further discomfort and distress. They often become less inclined to share, and they are likely to continue feeling alone or judged.  Therefore, a psychoeducational closed support group was first created specifically for people grieving suicide loss so they could feel safe to share, connect, understand the impacts of suicide grief together, and learn coping strategies for both trauma and complex grief.

The importance of specialized suicide loss grief support is reflected in the recent words of a griever new to Heartache2Hope:

“The intake I had with you was so supportive and safe. I really want to thank you for making that as much of a positive experience as possible - I have done quite a few therapy and medical intake calls in the last few months and have grown to somewhat dread going through it all with a stranger. The intake for Heartache2Hope was a very different experience and I left feeling some peace and relief.”

Heartache2Hope began as a volunteer-led group, then expanded to include a team of staff and volunteers. We train peer supporters (volunteers who have experienced a suicide loss themselves) to provide one-on-one support drawing from their lived experience. Professional grief counselling was added to help people with the impacts of trauma and complex, intense feelings unique to suicide loss.  Drop-in groups were created to offer a place for suicide loss grievers to come together over shared topics, providing a means of continued connection and healing beyond the 12-week closed support groups. We also provide specialized trauma therapy for those who witnessed or discovered the death, and wellness activities geared towards helping people cope with the impacts of trauma.

When I learned about all of this, I was deeply impacted by the work that had been done to support people through such a complex grief.

Grief doesn’t leave you, but the goal is to help people reach a point where they can step back into their lives, into work, into family, into community and begin contributing again in ways that are meaningful to them.

That’s what inspired me to join.

What has affected me the most is talking to grievers - both those who are new in their grief and those who have moved through it and are now peer supporters.

Seeing that transformation is incredibly meaningful. You see people come from the depths of grief to a place where they can say, I am still here. I can still find value, goodness, hope, and happiness.

Many are able to return to parts of their lives that were put on hold: whether that’s work, volunteering, or supporting their families. Even if life looks different, they are able to re-engage and contribute again.

That matters not just for the individual, but for the whole community. When someone is immobilised by grief, it has a ripple effect. And when they are supported in moving forward, that ripple moves outward in a positive way as well.

What makes suicide loss different is that it often comes with additional layers: stigma, trauma, anger, guilt, blame, and unanswerable questions. There can be a sense of shame or the feeling that more could have been done.

Because of that, this type of grief requires specialised care. Having people trained specifically in suicide loss grief makes a significant difference.

When people share that they had counselling before but only began to move forward after finding Heartache2Hope, it reinforces the importance of that specialised support.

We are seeing growth in the number of people we support each year. Last year, we supported 600 individuals, which was a 33% increase from the year before. This mirrors the steady growth we’ve seen over time. Already in 2026, we’re experiencing 8% growth over this time last year.

We want that to continue, because the need is significant. There are over 10,000 newly bereaved people by suicide in Ontario each year, and we are only reaching a small portion of them.

We are expanding our groups, increasing individual support, and growing our professional and peer support team. Much of this growth is happening through awareness: people finding us, sharing about us, and coming forward to use our services.

We don’t rely heavily on advertising. Growth has largely come through community awareness and referrals.

Our future includes expanding our program to support families where someone has attempted suicide and is still here. There is currently a gap in support for those families, and they often don’t know what to do next.

To continue growing and expanding, we need sustainable funding. We do not receive core government funding, rather our work is supported through donors, grants, and foundations.

Awareness is key.  People need to know that we exist, and that this type of grief caused adverse psychological impacts and requires specialised support. We also need to break down the stigma around suicide. Part of this work involves changing language. Moving from terms like “committed suicide” to “died by suicide,” all of which helps reduce stigma and shift understanding.

We also recognise that different cultures have different perspectives on grief and suicide. We want to learn from communities about what support would best meet their needs and how services can be adapted to be more accessible and culturally appropriate.

We value keeping our services barrier-free, especially because people experiencing grief often face significant changes to their finances. Offering our services at no cost to grievers is one step in reducing additional potential strain on their lives during grief. 

Awareness also helps people know that we are the best option to provide

specialized, quality support.  Our community is a vital partner in our work through their donations, sponsorships, collaborations, or community involvement.

More awareness and funding would allow us to reach more people and to provide services in a timely manner to the growing number of grievers who reach out to us each year.  We would love to have a dedicated home for Heartache2Hope, a consistent space where people can gather, connect, and access support.  We would also expand in-person services across Ontario, collaborating with other organizations to bring Heartache2Hope groups across Ontario. While virtual support is valuable, in-person connection helps address the isolation many grievers feel. We see this profoundly in our group settings, whether structured or drop-in, this provides a space where people feel understood. And it’s that sense of connection which can help them gradually re-engage with the world around them.

In the long term, we would hope to expand further, creating more opportunities for in-person support in communities beyond Ontario, while continuing to offer virtual services for those who need them.

To support that effort, we would adapt our internal training program for peer supporters and staff to help grow support networks in communities across Ontario.

With greater awareness and support, more communities could take part in this work and help extend these services to those who need them, ensuring that no one touched by suicide grieves alone.

Story curated by Phillip McAllister

_________________________________________________________________________

This post is part of a larger CDH Member Story Project. The intent is to share the depth of our non-profit sector, name how community can support and imagine together what is possible through the non-profit sector to ensure Halton is a health, inclusive and resilient place to live.

Are you a CDH member and want to let your story to the project. You can get started HERE.