I Want to Turn My Life Around by Helping Others

Choosing a Road Forward

By Ashley

I did not spend much time on the street. I couch surfed with friends for a bit and then ended up in the shelter. Back in 2019, it was coed, half female and half male. It was not a good time. The staff were tough and always seemed to be looking for a reason to kick you out. One time, I was sitting on the couch, and someone asked me to pass a bottle of vitamin C, and they tried to kick me out for that.

Not long after that, COVID came. I actually secured my housing right before everything shut down, and of course, my move-in date ended up being the exact day the whole world closed. I lost my moving truck, I lost the people who were supposed to help me move, and I was just standing outside a hotel with all my stuff still in storage. Support House could not help because of restrictions, so I called a friend with a pickup truck and said I had no way to move anything. She came right away.

We rushed to Value Village before the doors closed and grabbed a cheap chair and a TV stand. Then everything shut down. When I went grocery shopping, there was nothing on the shelves. No toilet paper, no meat, nothing. I lived above Oakville Pizzeria at the time, and even they did not have toilet paper. They handed me a stack of napkins until I could find help. Eventually, someone on Facebook gave me a package of toilet paper. I had almost no money because I was on ODSP, and the only stuff left in stores was expensive. I even had to ask on Facebook if anyone had extra canned food. It was a lot.

Housing has always been the biggest thing for me. That, and getting connected with Support House. I first knew them through their youth program, Just Be You, and I had just aged out of it when my addiction took over and led me to do things I would never do sober. I ended up spending four days in jail. I would never wish that on somebody who does not need to be there.

But something good came out of it. Support House had launched their justice program the exact day I got out of jail. If that timing had not lined up the way it did, I honestly do not know where I would be today. They helped me get connected to housing and to support systems that actually made sense.

Volunteering with SAFE is something that gives me a lot of hope. SAFE stands for Survivors Advocating For Empowerment, and it is a group of people who have lived through gender based violence or sexual assault. Being able to share my story and help other people who are going through the same thing makes me feel like something good can come from what I survived. Every time I speak up, I hope the statistics will start to go down. Right now, one in three women has been abused, and that number still shocks me. We need to talk about it.

Recently, I got to speak at an event called Voices and Hope. It was only a small three-minute speech, but people told me it really touched them. That meant a lot to me. I never thought my story would matter like that.

When it comes to feeling supported in the community, there are so many layers to it. Being connected to Support House helps me a lot. Places like Saint Christopher’s and Food for Life help too, especially when food is so expensive right now. But I also think we need more help with food because the need is so high. Food banks limit how often you can go, and it makes things tough, especially if your hours get cut, as mine did recently.

I also wish there were more support around grieving. My mom has dementia, and she is getting to the advanced stage. It is incredibly hard. You grieve the person even while they are still here. It is a very specific kind of pain. Having free, accessible supports for that would help so many people.

I learned about a lot of community resources through Support House. They would tell me when there were dinners at Saint Christopher’s or places that could help. I find a lot through Facebook, too. SAFE also shares resources all the time. And growing up, my mom used Saint Vincent de Paul and the Salvation Army, so I knew about some things from childhood.

There are positive things happening in Halton. Declaring gender based violence an epidemic was huge. It made me feel like people are finally paying attention. I also had a really good experience with the rent bank when I needed help. I had surgery in June, EI did not kick in until August, and because ODSP pays a month behind, I ended up with no income for September. The region helped me pay my rent and treated me with kindness. They were quick, understanding, and not judgmental. That mattered.

If Halton had more services like that, I think we would see fewer people on the streets. This region is expensive, and people are scared to ask for help because they do not want to be judged. When I worked at the dollar store, I met many people struggling with homelessness or addiction right around the store. If more supports were out there, meeting people where they are, I believe Halton could genuinely flourish.

Stable housing, to me, means something I can actually afford. It means clean living, no bugs, no mice, no random people coming into your unit because the door lock pops open. I have lived in places like that, and it is terrifying. Safety is everything.

And sometimes, even when you need help, it feels like there is no one to turn to. I once called 911 because someone was chasing me and banging on my door with a baseball bat. When I finally got behind a locked door, they said it was no longer an emergency. Emergency services are spread thin. Addiction stigma adds another layer. I have seen people overdosing who begged me not to call 911 because they were afraid of how first responders would treat them. That breaks my heart. It makes people pick between safety and shame.

I took a free opioid poisoning course through St. John Ambulance that teaches how to use naloxone. I carry naloxone with me and have used it before. I reached a point where I knew I was living a life that I was not happy with, and I asked myself how I could turn things around, how I could become someone who helps others. After jail, I was in a dark place, but as COVID eased, I slowly rebuilt my life. I worked a twelve-step program and got connected with SAFE through counselling. Now I share my story as often as I can because I want to help someone else find their way.

I think about the next generation a lot. Everything is more expensive. Addiction is rising. Homelessness is rising. Even in Halton, where it is more hidden, it is still happening. Couch surfing is still homelessness. Carrying a backpack everywhere, asking to use someone’s shower, never feeling settled, it is not a real home.

One of my biggest dreams is to create a walk-in centre where people who are homeless can have a place to sleep for a few nights, shower, make food, and meet their basic needs. How is someone supposed to get a job when they do not have an address or cannot show up clean? That is not fair. People deserve dignity before anything else.

I want to keep turning my life around by helping others. That is what keeps me moving forward. It gives me purpose. It gives me hope. And it makes me believe that our community can grow into something stronger, kinder, and more connected.

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Curated by Gala Vukmanovic

This story was shared as part of Thriving Together in Community Project.

The purpose of this project is to gather community voices and ideas to help inform local organizations, service providers, and decision-makers. Stories focus on people’s hopes, strengths and visions for the future, as well as the challenges faced by people that are deeply impacted by the affordability crisis in Halton.