I Just Want My Independence Back

Staying connected and not doing it alone

by M.K.B.

I had to move away from Halton because my family moved, but all of my support systems were still there. I did not want to let myself get isolated in a new town, so having access to virtual services has been incredibly important to me. I have been able to join Support House groups for mental health and substance use concerns, attend creative writing groups through the Writers Collective of Canada, and meet with my therapist virtually since she is in Mississauga. In the winter, driving an hour or two to see my friends is a huge challenge, so connecting online has been really helpful for me.

I lived in Halton from the late 80s until this past summer, so leaving felt strange. Grimsby is just a random place my parents wanted to move to. I did not want to leave my friends or all the amazing services that helped me recover from my mental health concerns.

The Women’s Centre has helped me so much. Their programs changed my life, and I want more people to know they exist because I did not hear about them until the pandemic, even though they have been around since the 90s. They run groups about narcissistic abuse, physical abuse, self-esteem, and art. Women can call the Women’s Centre or access in-person peer support if they need someone to talk to, one-to-one. My mom is involved with them, and it is meaningful that you can give back and volunteer there. She used some of their services when she was a new mom.  Now, she is a volunteer on a Gender-Based Violence committee with the executive director of The Women’s Centre.

I registered for Support House, and they matched me with a peer support worker who checks in on me and notices if I haven’t been attending groups. I first learned about Support House from a peer support worker at the Oakville Hospital while I was on the waitlist to see a psychiatrist. He shared free services I could use while I waited for more help. I also took part in a mental health day program at the hospital for several weeks and received short-term therapy there. These supports played a huge role in stabilizing my mental health and helped me continue working for myself. I am currently self-employed, and staying connected to these programs made it easier to manage my mental health while maintaining my work.

Going to groups, showing up on time, and planning my days became a way to practice getting back into the real world after the pandemic changed everything. Support House also runs in-person events a couple of times a year, and through those, I have made many friends. Some people have similar mental health experiences, and others have different ones, but we all understand each other. When your mental health is not good, everything becomes harder. Jobs, money, and housing all become more stressful, and many of us end up living with our parents temporarily.

Sometimes I struggle because many of my friends are living their lives with houses, dogs, and kids, and I have not fit into that group. Mental health held me back for a long time. Support House helped boost my confidence and made me feel like I am part of a community of growth and healing. I have been able to help others, and they have helped me. I am chatty, so having a space where I can talk to people has been really helpful. There is something happening five days a week, which keeps me connected.

Through Support House, I found the Writers Collective of Canada, and now I attend their groups with a few friends. Meeting people through writing opened even more doors for me. It all started with Halton Healthcare and expanded from there. I still cannot believe these services are free. Therapy can be $170 an hour, and when money is tight, you start deciding between therapy or groceries. These programs let me access support without making impossible choices.

I also love seeing how community support spreads. One of my friends from the Women’s Centre now supports women on her own. She created a chat, a blog, and shares what is happening in Oakville and Burlington. She does not get paid; she simply wanted women to have someone to connect with, especially around holidays. Seeing how one person can expand on what the Women’s Centre already does is inspiring. It shows how a few people can change your life, and it makes you want to do the same for others.

The Women’s Centre helps women in times of transition. If I had not heard about it while living ten minutes away, then many people probably have not heard about it either. More people using it might mean they would need to expand. Their groups support women grieving, job hunting, healing from abuse or divorce, and they support women who are unhoused. I would love to see more programs like that.

I also want to see more places for men. A male friend of mine was struggling and did not know where to go. It can be harder for men to ask for help because society tells them to figure it out themselves. Women have more support in some ways, but men need safe spaces too. And if men get support, it also helps women because they are our family, our friends, and our partners. Sometimes we wonder how someone ended up acting a certain way, and I think maybe he did not have enough support. Gender does not determine feelings. Society shapes how we are allowed to express them.

Funding is a huge barrier. The Women’s Centre has to ask for donations, and volunteers run some of the programs. It is amazing when people can give their time, but they have their own bills too. I am not good at asking for money, but I know investing in these supports prevents bigger issues later. Hospital visits, psychiatric stays, addiction, and unemployment all create more strain on the community. Helping people early saves the whole community money. Anything that helps me helps my parents and everyone around me.

If the community could build on these good things, I think I could get back to full-time work. I have worked part-time for a long time because my mental health was not where I wanted it to be. These supports help me stay connected, socialize, and work. They inspired me to want to volunteer one day when I have the time and money.

My main goal is to get my independence back, to make enough money, live away from my family, pay my own bills, and not have debt. All these free services help me move closer to that. I do not feel like I am doing everything alone.

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Curated by Gala Vukmanovic

This story was shared as part of Thriving Together in Community Project.

The purpose of this project is to gather community voices and ideas to help inform local organizations, service providers, and decision-makers. Stories focus on people’s hopes, strengths and visions for the future, as well as the challenges faced by people that are deeply impacted by the affordability crisis in Halton.