Every little opportunity can create positive impact

We are all valuable and courageous human beings

By Sara Rosales

Discovering the Lavender Fields

Belonging is essential for people’s well-being. It is feeling respected, supported, and trusted. It is a universal need. If you feel you don't belong, then distrust and stress will always be present, and that is a very difficult way to live.

During all my years working and volunteering in different organizations for my native country, the topic of feeling accepted, valued and supported was a common factor.

When I first arrived in Canada 13 years ago, I did not know what to expect, nor that I would make of Canada my new home. Our story had ups and downs; the major ones being the language barrier for my kids at school, and the family dynamic, I was trying to keep up with the demands for International Students at that time, while my husband had to go to work all the way to Scarborough and was absent most of the day. We were members of the same family, each of us had a very different individual experiences of finding our way to belong.

We cannot complain, we always find somebody to help us during our stressful moments; that certainly made a difference for me and my family. I was very relieved to see everybody trying to help us somehow; organizations I contacted, parents at my kids' schools, and our first neighbours. Eventually, some of the people that helped us became our friends, we built trust and have been able to continue helping each other.

I have witnessed and heard a lot of stories from foreigners, immigrants and Canadian-born citizens and they feel hurt if they feel they don't belong. The difference between success and happiness is not the place you were born in, but the experiences in your life and the people who surround you.

Happy to get my first job.

An important moment for me was when I was able to find my first job. It was not in my career, but it didn't matter because it opened a door for me; to feel productive, to meet more people and to realize that I was not the only one facing challenges in life. They were not the same problems, but it helped me understand that we all share one important thing. We are all valuable, courageous human beings and that we are all longing to feel loved, accepted and supported.

I looked up to them and admire their resilience and good spirit while they patiently waited for better opportunities or good news to arrive.

We have been very fortunate to build a career and find a lot of opportunities for my children. I know that was only thanks to the people who made us feel that we belong.

When we first came, there were not a lot of supports in place for temporary residents, so we really had to rely mostly in people and treasure the advice we received from some organizations that were able to help us. I am happy to see that Halton has been acknowledging the needs of their newcomers and working on developing supports and services for them, this project is one example for that.

We need to strengthen the value and richness of diversity and talk more about it. Unfortunately, a lot of people and groups spread misinformation. They are everywhere posting, announcing, deceiving. We can try to do the same and spread more awareness and real information.

Things have changed with time. Social media, Covid-19, and war have been difficult to face. I have seen the stories and opinions of people change over time, and unfortunately, they have been shaped sometimes by that misinformation and heat speech. Communication is a very important and delicate topic, either because of a language barrier, attitudinal barrier, or isolation but people have become more vulnerable to falling into the wrong circles of people.

I have witnessed firsthand how people fall into the hands of the wrong groups just because they were afraid to ask for help in the right places. It is also sad to hear some citizens and some immigrant’s express rejection to each other because they trusted the wrong information channels or groups.

In my belonging story I could always question discrimination because I had met somebody whose kindness and attitude proves the stereotypes are not truth.

We need to open more communication channels, to outreach, and to be positively loud and outspoken about all the topics that divide people.

I remember being a teacher, trainer, public speaker and awarded community leader. That didn't matter much when I arrived in Canada, tried to speak in English and convey ideas; nor when my husband was looking for a job and didn't know how to succeed in an interview; or when my kids try to make friends at school so they could miss a little less the ones they lost when we left our country. Not being able to communicate, and work to provide for your family is hard, sad. You are scared and isolated. I have heard this type of sentiment in a lot of people.

We need supports to help people to break barriers and connect. We need more events and festivals that celebrate multiculturalism and Canadian values at the same time, I have heard that a lot lately.

The best way to fight heat is by spreading kindness. The best way to break isolation is by opening communication channels. The best way to fight ignorance is by giving access to knowledge. Continuing to create awareness and filling out the blanks of people's assumptions will be the only way to combat these circles of mistrust, help people who feel isolated to find organizations that guide them.

Allowing the people to be involved directly in the decision making and in the creation or maintenance of those services, peer support would make it easy to sustain. Many hard topics will probably have to be discussed, but that is one more reason for investing in organizations that will be prepared to open those spaces. They create links, events, and teach skills that are fundamental to build connections and happy communities.

Happy communities, respectful dialogue, positive regard and trust. Tolerance, support and second chances for people who may come across as "aggressive" or “rude”, while in reality many of them are only afraid of not knowing what is “the right word”, or how to express their feelings.

Help people on their belonging path by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Laugh with each other. Appreciate that people are learning and trying. Value the effort rather than judging the mistake.

Every little opportunity can create positive impact.

Story development supported by Peter Pula

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This is part of a series of stories on Belonging.

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